Dear Buffalo Sabres,
While I can't tell a hockey stick from the thing I use to scrape snow off of my car, I can tell you that something has been a bit off with your performance lately. I have only recently become aware of your existence, for reasons quite obvious to anyone that knows me, but from what I've gathered you guys are really slacking. I rollerblade to Jock Jams faster than you guys skate around the rink...pretending to be real hockey players...PAA!
I've been thinking real hard about this (instead of doing countless hours of mandatory Grad School homework) and I think the problem here has nothing to do with your skill but with your concentration.
Being real big fishies in a small sad and cold pond must be really distracting. Who has time to put in extra hours of practice or think about scoring goals when the countless boxed blonds from Cheektavegas are all waiting to grind up on you. If only goals were as easy to score as shameless hook ups and underage Bj's from Buffalo girls all lined up to ride the bull at Buckin Buffalo.
So...beautiful demi-gods of Buffalo, for the sake of your fans, please spend less time on Chippewa drinking Goose and Tonics at the Bayou and a little more time concentrating on what you were brought to our sad little city to do.
xoxo,
Me.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
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2 comments:
Amen. I fully agree with you. They are always out on the town...
Just a heads up... you were linked on deadspin.com today. Expect an insane amount of web traffic.
They'll have plenty of time to do that when they're golfing come April 7th.
Call them out at the bar next time. You're a woman so hopefully they won't hit you.
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